Friday, March 21, 2008

Sweet nothing in my ear & cochlear implant

Check this link out and look at the comments made on the bottom. It goes to show how writers knowing next to nothing about cochlear implants.

http://www.broadwayworld.com/viewcolumn.cfm?colid=23451

Wtih the discussion about cochlear implants going on right now, I'll be the one to tell you that I don't care whether someone chooses to get an implant or not.

What I do care about is this:

I am against parents implanting their children prior to being 16 years old. As for language development, teach them ASL for crissakes. I recall meeting people in high school and seeing the huge scars over their ears.. Where was the implant? Nowhere to be found. "I hate it and I have never worn it!!" was the common answer.

I advocate cochlear implants for adults--when they make the choice for themselves to get it. In the past few years, more and more of my friends have been getting the implant, including a 66 year old PROFOUNDLY deaf, lifelong ASL user!! He stated "It's a toy for me. I'm retired and I thought 'Why not?' I don't care what other people think. I've still got my ASL and it won't change who I am!" Kudos! It was strange having him tell me that he could actually hear me scratching my arm. He could hear me breathing. This coming from a guy who has been completely deaf for 66 years?? Of course, he couldn't speak diddly. But his ASL is beautiful!

And just a couple weeks ago, another friend got implanted. I could tell the difference in her voice, she can speak clearer now.

Sometimes, deaf, ASL users like us just want to get an idea of what the world sounds like. Is that a crime? No. I think it's beautiful, really. I grew up with binaural hearing loss and was fitted with hearing aids at the age of four. After years of speech therapy, I could speak just like any other hearing person. However, living in Hawaii was different. The language spoken there is Pidgin Creole, and sounds something like this:

"Eh brah, dem waves are poundin' at da beach today! You like go?"

"Ho, dis poki is so ono!!"

"You like da kine?"

So, having to listen to this Pidgin while learning to read English in school was challenging. Eventually, I picked up Pidgin and became a native speaker of it. Sometimes I'll slip back into my Hawaiian mode and start rattling off in Pidgin and oddah peepo go look at me like "Eh?" "Where are you from? I hear that you have a different accent."

"oh yah I grew up in Hawaii, cuz and we go speak da kine Pidgin ovah deah you know... and den I come ovah heah and nobody knows how to speak Pidgin'!"

Anyways, I start learning ASL at 16 at YLC in Oregon.. then went to MSSD and Gallaudet afterwards and I really picked up on the ASL. It took a good while to let go of my stronghold on English and understand how ASL worked.

And because I can hear and speak so well, I have found that a lot of friends were jealous of my ability to hear. Not jealous like "I wish I could hear too." but jealous like "I wish he didn't hear, so he could be like all the rest of us..." Maybe jealous isn't the right word....So I stopped offering to interpret for friends at McDonalds after being told not to.. I decided to let them take care of it. Early on, I didn't know. But after a few years, I learned that anyone can do anything and if it means writing a whole conversation on a piece of paper--so be it. It's nothing to be ashamed about.

I still can hear and speak, and have thought about getting an implant sometimes.. but I've been on the fence about it for a long time. I just haven't taken the plunge. Maybe I'm not ready. Maybe I don't want to. I love ASL in all it's beauty and glory and I don't need an implant for it. But I want to hear music better. I want to be able to talk with hearing people without going "Huh?? What'd you say?"

If I got an implant, will that cause me to be seen as different? I have never, ever treated my friends any differently after they got an implant. What for? If Raychelle true biz got an implant, good for her! I won't treat her any different. If Carl (Kalalau) got an implant, he ain't gotta get anything different from me. It's a personal choice. Just like getting a tattoo. I got a bunch of 'em. Am I treated differently cause of them? Nope.

So then, I am beginning to see less and less a basis for the argument against cochlear implants today, other than I rather not see children be implanted.

I understand, though that parents don't know what to expect, and they think that being able to hear and speak leads to success in one's life. But they don't know that it leads to ridicule, stigmatization and marginalization during childhood. That's the crappy part that I hate so much. Even with hearing aids, that's what I went through. Had I never discovered ASL and Gallaudet, where would I be?

Lost, I bet, trying to hear my way through the world and still saying "What? Huh?"

I'm glad I found ASL. Along with ASL came with many good friends with whom I cherish relations with. It had nothing to do with whether I could speak or hear.. It has to do with how well I understood ASL. Only when I learned to embrace ASL and Deaf Culture, that's when my friends embraced me.

Would I have these friends if not for ASL? Probably not. Would I be married today? Probably not. The worst place to be is in the middle--being hard of hearing and not being able to completely understand verbal communications and not being able to sign in ASL. Its like Purgatory.

ASL is in my heart forever. If I got an implant tomorrow, ASL ain't goin' anywhere.

BF

Friday, February 1, 2008

Travelling to San Francisco

Pah, my excitement is reaching a crescendo as I leave my home. It took me a good 20 mins to make absolutely sure that I have everything. I do not want to be caught in SF having forgotten something like my underwear.

I'm not going to bring my laptop with me--I can blog just fine with my blackberry 8830.

It's an hour's drive from Salem to Portland up the I-5. I just read that Kalalau is going, only he's DRIVING!! Haha. We live a few miles from each other. 10-12 hours' drive to SF and back. The Siskiyou mountains can't catch an unsuspecting driver unaware with a blinding snowstorm. On that note--I hereby bless Carl and his friends safe travels.

Now I'm on the I-5. I've set my cruise control, watched a Pavehawk copter swoop in for a landing, and.....well, I guess I better hang up and drive. Thank goodness Oregon doesn't have a law against texting while driving, for I'd be their worst offender.

Cya'll soon.

BF

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

analysis of thyself

Earlier tonight I posted a comment on Chris Leon's blog regarding censorship.

A few things went through my mind shortly afterwards--were my comments made in haste? Would my comments be perceived with the emotion of calm and tactful or as someone whose blood is boiling? Was I looking for any justification in myself through my comments? Or was I simply conveying the greater philosophy of not jumping to conclusions? Did I make inappropriate use of HIS blog to give him a hard time? Could I have done that from my own blog?

Hindsight is 20/20.

I think my comments were made in haste, I guess sometimes I get frustrated with continuing to see negativity and selfishness among bloggers and commentors in blogspace. It's like, I just want to scream "GROW UP, PEOPLE!!" So, I admit that I made that comment while my blood was boiling abit, mostly because I felt that in defense of DeafRead--they're doing the best they can. DeafRead is so new, that the editors are learning every step of the way. In my earlier posting, I said, "Progress, not perfection". Give credit to progress, for no one can be perfect. There's mistakes to be made every step of the way. I could have taken a moment to step back and crafted a more calm response, and posted it on my blog so as not to stomp on his blog. Would I feel if someone came to my place and started giving me grief? I wouldn't like it. So, if I have a gripe about someone, I will do it from my blog from now on. It's just a gesture of respect. People are entitled to whatever they want to say, but at least say it from their blog. I'll say what I want to say from mine. It's my space. My platform.

Self-justification or conveyance of philosophy? I'd say it's conveyance of philosophy. Sometimes people can be selfish and negative that they just want to rain on other people's parades. And they do it because unconsciously they like the attention, and they feel justified in raising the gripe. If we, as a Deaf Nation as a whole, are trying to use our blogsphere to unite in betterment of our community and our lives by sharing our stories and experiences, why must there be people who will come in and be negative and do out right the opposite of what we are trying to achieve? The world does not owe you anything, and the world definitely doesn't revolve around you, and you definitely won't gain satisfaction in finding justification of your own agenda if it stems from your selfishness. As a collective whole, interdependence is the key word. We need to depend on, learn from, and support each other. Only then with that kind of unity will a group of people achieve a goal. It's called teamwork. I call it, harmony.

There's something I learned last year. Seeking justification of self in such that way that "I'm right, you're wrong!" doesn't work. "You discriminated against me because I'm deaf! You're wrong! I hope you pay! I'll sue you with the ADA!" and so on. Simply, "I'm right, you're wrong!" Understandably it's easy to feel that you're entitled to justice, or some form of payback. We WANT to hurt people to displace all the hurt that we experienced in the past. Displacement. We believe that we are justified when we make other people feel bad because we're right and that we've been hurt before.

So what does this mean?

There's a lot of anger to go around the world a few times. I'll bet you that. And many of us don't realize that we have anger inside us, we carry it everyday on our shoulder or somewhere deep down in our souls. Our bodies and souls are like a bottle. Whatever goes in, has to come out the same way it came back in. There's no exit. It's like a cul-de-sac. Gotta turn around and go back out. But the problem is, people don't know how to get the anger out. Once the anger settles in, and stays in.. it becomes toxic. And you know what toxic crap does.. it seeps into the blood, the muscles, bones...it literally becomes poison and that's how we get cancer. I'm speaking analogous--anger itself is the toxin. Our smiles disappear and we become guarded. Our aura darkens, and we walk with ill. No longer do we feel like we are blessed, but we carry the weight of the past. And we choose to. That anger needs to come out. We need that thorn removed so we can finally be free.

Forgiveness is the antidote. Not hurting others.

Take a moment each day to think of something that you love about being Deaf--whether it be the beauty of ASL, or remembering something that happened that made you feel great and proud to be Deaf.. cherish that.

For me, I think about my friends in DC who can wield ASL beautifully in their storytelling. I cherish the camaraderie and the genuine friendships that come with being so close in the deaf community. I cherish all those little "reunions" where every couple of years or so there's an event that brings together all sorts of folks from across the country and it's like a little reunion of sorts. Like Gabe Leung's wedding in San Francisco in 2005, Dave and Melissa Huber's wedding in Laguna Beach, a couple weeks at Gallaudet for the Leadership Institute, etc. Those fixes made me feel great for a while afterwards. Needed that "deafie fix".

And that's why I'm going to the DeafRead conference this weekend. I know I'll get that fix.

BF

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Davos Question

I'm a fan of YouTube. Often I go there to check out an array of videos to keep myself entertained. Lately I've been noticing a recurring theme amongst new videos--they're titled something like "Response to the Davos Question".

So out of curiosity I looked it up--here's what I found:


"What one thing do you think that countries, companies or individuals must do to make the world a better place in 2008?"


Aha. The website http://www.youtube.com/davos gives a little bit of history behind this question. Leaders gather at the World Economic Forum in Davos each year to discuss how to make the world a better place. This year they came up with this question and decided to utilize YouTube to involve EVERYONE.

So, what's your response to the Davos Question? Feel free to post here or on your own blog.

BF

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Tact

Just the other day a friend of mine messages me giving me grief about this one NFL-bound quarter back named Colt Brennan of University of Hawaii. He had a stellar NCAA career, breaking many records along the way, only to have his final collegiate game snuff out his joyride by a relentless pounding by Georgia Bulldogs in the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans. That was painful to watch. Anyways, he's like, the lightest of all the quarterbacks in the upcoming Senior Bowl and who knows where in the NFL Draft he'll be taken.

"Brennan is 185 pounds? He ever heard of a weight room? Jesus, what a fool! If I knew I could go pro I'd have spent more time pumpin' iron! So what has he been doing??"

derftguThen our topic changed to talking about cars and how they eat so much fuel and etc. I told my friend I'd rather get a truck after my current car so that I can use the truck for utility reasons--hauling stuff around, simply. He goes "Why? What you gonna haul? You a landscaper? Huh?"

The tone of his response had me baffled. I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or intentionally cynical with me. I asked, "Dude-I don't know if it's me or if this is how you talk to everyone else but I get the feeling you're giving me grief about the quarterback that I happen to like and the choice of car that I happen to have my eyes on". (The thing is--I really wasn't sure if he was on a bad streak or if he was just kiddin' and ribbin' me. Our convo was on AOL AIM. As we all know, AIM conversations are a breeding ground for misunderstandings and crap hitting the fan.

He responds "Oh dude I was laughing all the while I was saying it, I was just ribbin' and jokin' with ya bro."

"Oh okay..just had to check because I wasn't sure as to what tone of voice you were using" and added "You know how AIM conversations and emails, you can easily misunderstand."

"Oh yeah dude totally understand.. I should have added a marker or something like *chuckle* so as to convey my tone more clearly."

There--that totally set me straight and I was perfectly content with it, now that I had this cleared up. The thing is, I didn't want to assume anything, and if I did, I'd be brooding over it and thinking "What the hell is my friend thinking?!?! That jerk! I'm gonna chew his head off!!" So I had to ask and make sure before jumping to conclusions. I'm glad that he took the responsibility to be accountable and admit his error in that he wasn't clear.

And that's basically what I call tact. TACT. It's how you approach people and talk to them in a manner that they do not get the wrong message. However, we can only control how we present ourselves, but we cannot control how others perceive us.
The key truth is knowing what you can and cannot control.

Once you understand this, then understanding how people operate becomes a lot easier. It becomes alot easier to understand how YOU operate as well. How do you react? How do you perceive such situations when they arise? Is it your fault? What part of it do you have? Sure it takes two to tango--what part of this is your responsibility?

A simple matter of discrimination--such as someone refusing to provide a paper and pen for writing back and forth. One would say, "Well that hearing person s discriminating!! It's all his fault!"

Not exactly.

Because you are the other half of the dyad--the two people involved in this discriminating event--you are also partly responsible. You're responsible for the fact that you're there in the first place. You're responsible in some form or way that caused this person to refuse to provide a paper and pen for communication. If it wasn't for you requesting the paper and pen in the first place, or even being there in the first place, this wouldn't have happened!

The next step is, figuring out exactly what your role is in all of this.

And then to justify it.

But with tact, of course.


And sometimes, we do not always get the results we need.

Take a look at that deaf mom who tried ordering a milkshake via the drive through in Chicago. She calmly explained that she was deaf and that she needed an alternate format of communicating her order for two milkshakes. She did what she could diplomatically and reasonably. The manager's action, is that under her control? No. There's nothing she could stop him from behaving the way he did. And there's nothing he could stop her from contacting the press!

The bottom line is, do your best to deal with situations diplomatically and after exhausting all options then bring out the big guns.

Sometimes I tell, 'em... "Sue 'em". "That'll shake them up like shaking a bee hive." For me, in my opinion, that's the last resort.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. He was talking about how people who are blind have more services and things than people who are Deaf or hard of hearing. He stated that the Blind are a lot more persistent--they'll stand around all day if they have to for a chance to speak with a Representative about a Bill.

Perhaps then there's a question--patience vs. tact. Which is more effective?

BF

Friday, January 25, 2008

Hiatus and etc..

It's been awhile! It's exactly what I feared I'd do--start something on a whim, keep at it for a short while, then suddenly just abandon it. I had on my mind the past week to put in an entry on my blog, mostly because it was due. The thing is, I just couldn't really think of a good topic to write about. The whole Deficit Thinking hysteria passed and everything calmed back down. It's only a matter of sitting for a few minutes and directing my mind to Deafness that I can conjure something.
First off, I'm excited that I'll be attending the DeafRead Blog Awards! I purchased my plane ticket tonight--after a day of searching for a good fare. Originally I looked up for a fare to San Francisco but found the cost a bit too high, $314 for a round trip, and I winced. Ouch. So I thought, "What about across the Bay in Oakland?" Looked it up. $215. Much better. But if I did that, that means I'll either need to rent a car or catch the BART over to the other side of the Bay. But then I'll need to pay for hotel. Aieee. I called the Embassy and they said they were out of rooms booked under the DeafRead conference. But they did have some available at the normal going rate. But but but.. I use But too many times I guess.

Then it occurred to me--I recalled seeing certain specials online in travel.yahoo.com. Usually a flight and a car special. And we have had luck with that before--typically it's cheaper than a plane ticket alone! So with that hunch, I looked up San Francisco along with a car rental. Sure enough! $195 bucks!! And I don't even NEED the car because the hotel is like one mile from the airport and there's a shuttle service to and fro!! At least it'll save me a lot of time.

Now I gotta get me a tix to the Banquet. So see you there!

Oh and by the way if anyone of you are going and need to split a room, hit me up because just 'cause I got a cheap tix doesn't mean I can splurge on a room. I'll be more than happy to share a room and split the cost if there's any takers!!


I NEED A ROOM!

BF

Sunday, December 23, 2007

VRS companies, a beggining of a trend.

Sorenson Communications was the first. Then came Hands On Video Relay Services. Then came a slew of other smaller Video Relay Service (VRS) companies popping up on our radar. Hawk, Viable, Hamilton, Sprint, CSDVRS, etc..

What do these companies have in common? Why, video relay service, of course. And we all know about that.

What else do they have in common? I don't know if the lot of you have thought about it but this is one area that I find intriguing.

Deaf-friendly workplaces.

CSD is the first to be the biggest, deaf-friendly workplace where ASL is the primary language used within the company as it's preferred mode of communication. It's founder, Benjamin Soukup, is Deaf and when building and growing his fledging relay company in South Dakota, he hired many deaf individuals into his company. While at Gallaudet in the late 90's, I would see my friends graduate and head out to work for CSD in Sioux Falls. Some of them are still there.

These VRS companies started hiring. IT persons, managers, account managers, outreach specialists, marketing directors, web designers, videographers for their media department, etc. And the nice thing is that, there never was such requirement of "Must hear and speak". Instead, it was something along the lines of "must have some knowledge of the interpreting industry, whether it be as a consumer or as a manager". Something like that.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is actually a real golden opportunity for our Deaf Nation.

Read employment and business opportunities for the Deaf.

It's simple--here's the logic.. Why bother work for a hearing company and struggle with adapting to their preferred mode of communication, i.e. verbal and audible English produced by the mouth? Why not, we, as Deaf folks, turn the tables and own our own businesses? That way, we, as Deaf folks, can institute the preferred mode of communication in our business, namely ASL? Why bother getting ourselves into situations that have the potential to submit ourselves to oppression and audism by working for Hearing companies? Why not start our own businesses where we can be sure that that never happens within our companies?

Lastly, why not start and build a company that will create employment opportunities for members of our Deaf Nation?

Look at HOVRS. This company keeps growing and growing. Ever since they brought on a major investor and a new President of the company, I have seen their employment position postings pop up like a ground hog, recruiting for Deaf people to join their company. And to think--"Oh, how we would LOVE to work for a Deaf-Friendly company where we can use ASL everyday!" Sprint, when they open up an Account Manager position, experiences a flurry of applicants fighting for that position like a madhouse of piranhas. The corporate experience as well as attractive salaries is really enticing. How nice it would feel to know that you work for a corporate company and you have a expense account as you walk through the airport on your way to the next Deaf Expo. And to tell the naysayers who have always said "Deaf people can't do it--they're handicapped and not capable of working" or whatever else. I recalled once reading somewhere in a blog somewhere sometime ages ago, a Deaf gentlemen wrote something like, "At Burger King I went in to place my order, and the lady at the cashier saw that I was Deaf, and she proceeded to say 'Oh I'm so sorry you're deaf!'. I was appalled. I wrote back on the paper "I have two Master degrees and make $70,000 a year, and you're sorry? Especially that you're working in Burger King and you look like you're 65 years old with no retirement money?"

This past year I had the opportunity to participate in the DeafNation Expo at least twice--once in Portland and again in Pleasanton, California. The neatest thing that I witnessed is that there are more and more Deaf-owned and run businesses showing their presence in these Expos. The display and exhibits for the major VRS players are becoming impressive--a reflection of the true potential of the Deaf company. I see many Network Marketing businesses coming up--such as Quixtar, USANA, Arbonne, etc. I see proprietors, such as Pah! Printing in California. I know there's more that would love mention but I can't think of them. But you get the idea. Own your own business, hire Deaf folks. And, you can bring on interns, and give them opportunities to hone their skills, so that when they leave they'll start their business! My friends, commerce out there is OURS TO RULE!

And c'mon, the Internet!! How many people are making money off of the Internet?? Millions! Capitalize on the Internet!! If you have this much time to be sitting at your computer scanning DeafRead everyday looking for interesting blogs and vlogs, then I'm sure you could be redirecting your energy into starting something profitable on the Internet! (No offense to Mayer and company!) Seriously, you could be making loads of cash selling stuff on the 'net. Or start a subscription site of some sort. A mere 3,000 membership base paying $10 a month for something that you can offer, can gross you $30,000 a month in income, or $360,000 per year. Sick, isn't it? And how many millions of people are connected to the Internet around the world??
Do the math. Find a way to capitalize on this. You'd be driving a Bentley GT in no time.

Again, why struggle? Why not create your own destiny?

But ah! The caveat is--in order to create your business, you have to use the resources that the Hearing people have! Develop a business plan, go to banks to get a business loan, go to other businesses to acquire stuff you need for your business and etc. It's inescapable. This is where we have to learn how to appropriately and professionally communicate with Hearing people to get what we need. Here is where we need to learn the law of symbiosis--"Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours". You have to give if you want to get. There's always an equilibrium that must be maintained--it's the law of the universe. Once you get the hang of communicating with Hearing people and making them comfortable with you, they will be more than happy to have your business.

Take it a bit further. Remember the word Symbiosis. Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. Deaf businesses supporting other Deaf businesses. Keep the money within the Deaf Nation. Create our own little economy.

So when I hear people complaining about discrimination, oppression and audism in their workplaces, I often think "If only they could go out and start their own business." You each are responsible for yourselves and how you behave in these instances. You are Masters of your own destiny and you can choose whatever path you want to take. Easy for me to say, not easy to do but it's not impossible.

Remember my previous post about "Forward Thinking"?? This is a good example. This is how we can start to take control over our destiny and start shifting over to be proactive people than reactive. We have got to stop being lazy and complacent and whining about oppression and audism and take control of our lives. If you have something you have to offer to all the rest of us, then by all means, share it with us in one way or another.

And this is how I share what I have to offer. My wisdom and insight.

Anyways, to wrap it up, one thing is for sure, you are in charge of your own ship, your own businesses. You are the Captain.

BF